Shell 'N Tell

Friday night Shelley was once again spotted at The Gutter snaggin’ some free drinks at the open bar. She and her girls got there at around 12:30 am and went straight for the bar. With their drink snatching skills, they were able to grab at least 15 drinks before the open bar ended half an hour later. Shelley, Eleni, Liz, and Liza designated a spot at one of the tables to sip on their drinks and chit chat. A few men stopped by to say hello and try to win their hearts but it didn’t take long for Shelley to insult their pitiful bullshit.

Loser #1: One loser tried to convince the girls he went to Princeton University, but Blair immediately criticized his Ramapo degenerate appearance. Apparently, Sir Lies-A-Lot whores around at Slutgers and had no clue what county Princeton was even in. Sorry, babe, but girls like Shelley don’t go for ivy league posers.

Loser #2: Tanmoy was his name and faking straight was his game. He was a well-groomed macho man that came over to the Shelley and immediately started hitting on her by saying, “You’re pretty and I’m awesome.” He started throwing compliments at her like commenting on how much he loved her thrifty ring. He’s apparently a fashion designer at Saks 5th Ave and was totally diggin’ her style. He gave one of the girls his number and facebook and from the looks of his profile picture and musical interests (Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Kelly Clarkson, AVRIL LAVIGNE?!?!?) he definitely was not Shelley’s type. See ya later, gaytor.

Loser #3: Soon after, Shelley was approached by another man who was a complete meathead. He tried very hard to woo her. He was so fucking clingy that every time Shelley tried to leave and stand around her girls he would come back over and try again. He even tried to use the line, “You try and act like a bitch but I know you’re actually a really sweet girl.” Read the blog, Beef Brains. Shelley’s a total bitch. To get him to leave her alone, Shelley built up the courage to press her lips against Meathead’s in order to give him the satisfaction he wanted so she could finally leave. It’s a hard thing for a vegetarian to do. But sometimes you need to give in to get out.

After finishing their drinks, the girls headed over to Bar 9 to meet up with some friends. They danced around for a while then headed back home after a successful night of being total betches.

  1. shellntell posted this