Shell 'N Tell

2012 - At the age of only 20, Shelley was actually a club promoter herself. Trying to make some extra cash while in college, she promoted at Griffin in the Meatpacking District. This was short-lived because when you think about it she was a club promoter at Griffin.

Chachi! Chaching!

For the past year or so, Shelley has grown up a little but only enough to ditch the club scene and carry out her vices in a more “sophisticated” manner. Although this has been a lovely transition into adult life, she recently pushed her dinner plans aside to rediscover the rhythm to which her heart beats and her fists pump.

A few weeks ago, Shelley went to the Highline Ballroom for the release party of Chachi’sHeart is a Warrior”. I feel the need to explain that Chachi is one of “New York’s hottest DJs” and “Heart is a Warrior” is one of his new tracks. I also feel the need to explain that if you are described as one of New York’s hottest DJs, there’s really no need for an explanation. Whatever. It’s not like Shelley was there purposefully to be entertained by bridge/tunnel sleaze. She was there for work to support a client who is probably supporting her, putting money into the company so that the company can put money into Shelley’s bank account. Chachi! Chaching!

Feels just like a daydream
My world spinning around



If you’ve been keeping up with Shelley or have any idea what the “club scene” is like, you may know that getting in isn’t always easy. There’s the effort of trying to look like the hottest bitch there, the anxiety of whether or not the bouncer will let you in, and the scavenge for free alcohol. But this time, instead of kissing club promoter ass, Shelley was on the VIP list with Chachi’s manager and strolled right in before the barelegged basic bitches without having to wearing her high heels.


Free vodka cranberries distorted an unbearable crowd so that it didn’t matter that they were there. Once you have 5 and hear “Empire State of Mind” it’s like, who cares?

Shelley headed back to Brooklyn at 4AM just in time to sleep for 3 hours before having to head back to work the next morning.

Shelley and her superstitions

(Source: insanity7, via stacygraceee)



Happy Veinte de Enero! Holidays won’t go the way they’re supposed to every year - Christmas, New Year’s Eve, Earth Day. Last 1/20, Shelley wasn’t in a good mood. This time, schedules didn’t match up enough for us to go hard on a Monday evening. But that didn’t mean we weren’t in the spirit. Although there weren’t any tequila shots, there were chips and salsa. And although no one got laid, there was a girls sleepover. This weekend Shelley and friends spent the Friday and Saturday out at some bars. Most of the time was spent catching up and laughing at people. Typical but fun and that’s what matters. Shelley did manage to manipulate a guy into buying her a pickleback shot to avoid dancing with him and that’s what also matters.

Even though we didn’t properly celebrate, we encourage all to take advantage of the holiday.

And please recognize MLK Day. Shelley does not discriminate against race or ethnicity, if you know what I mean.



15 days into the new year is a little later than the more standard greeting but I’ve always been a little late. Maybe 2014 will bring about some better habits and I’m hoping along with punctuality is the abundance of sharing more stories with you. That being said, I’m back. Shelley’s back. My not so sincere apologies about the hiatus. Shit happens. We realized that life might suck even more after college. Shelley wasn’t the only one trying to figure things out. I had to as well and shit still sucks. I mean, I’ve come back to write a fucking blog about somebody else’s life for god’s sake (while eating frozen taquitos) and she’s pretty screwed up too. So as long as I can dish, I’ll serve as many plates with Shelley’s head on it.

In the past few months there have been some blog-worthy moments and we will catch up! But for now here’s an update on the one and only:

  • Shelley moved to Brooklyn.
  • She eats meat now.
  • She landed a job at a music studio where she can appropriately wear clothing promoting marijuana use.
  • I think she dates. She’s very mysterious about that though.*

With more reasons to go bat shit crazy, Shell ‘N Tell has returned to give you the inside scoop on all things Shelley with more updates and posts.

*If you have any information regarding her dating life please contact me here.

"It’s the fucking arctic up in this bitch. I could honestly use my nipples as a coat rack right now."

Anddddd…… she’s back.

On a toddler in a tiara:
"This dumb shit wants to become one of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders when she clearly doesn’t have the legs for it."
Life Coach, Shelley:
"Babe. I’m hoping you get this job. You need a reprieve. Although I think you really need six figures and two puppies. Oh and a boyfriend who will never ever wear a tank top."